You should have said no and this whole thing would have been avoided.
But you didn't. You never even fathomed that you were in my mind, heart life,everywhere .
But most of all, i betrayed myself by dreaming. dreaming that you will come back and never ever go, your love will pamper me just like it is doing to her now.
All I want to know is, "why?" What does she have that I don't?
Why did she flood back into your life? Why did you cave into her little game? You should have said no.
You should have shoved her away. Told her to leave. SOMETHING! But instead, you caved. Gave in to her every whim. Her every desire.
You left me. you just threw me off your life. You straight up forgot that I even existed in your life.
Didn't she leave you twice? still she deserves a chance. what about my feelings? did it never deserve anything? ANYTHING but not your disrespect.
I know when you love a person, you love everything about them. you are doing the same, even i am doing the same. Then why do you have everything and i don't?
My dad says if you get something bad, think that it is the punishment of something wrong you must have done in your life. I don't think I have ever done this bad to anybody, then why me?
Don't I deserve something more than your silly filthy words?
Was it worth it? Was it worth this? Was it worth losing me? Losing everything you once held so closely to?
I feel really cheated, in fact, I was cheated. I never expected this. Especially from you. you should not have lied to me. you should not have kept me in dark.
You were the last person I ever expected to hurt me this badly. So badly, I didn't want to get up out of bed.
I just wanted to lie there all day. Forget the world. Forget you.
But, I knew I couldn't. I had to get up. Dress up.
Put on my face. Fake that smile. Get through my day. Without you... But, I don't think you would have made it any better.
You sure did enough. I just don't understand it. I don't understand you. All I know is now, I can't even look at you.
and now i should say no to you, to your memories, to these feelings i still have for you,
to everything which does nothing but makes me think of you.
You lost me. or I lost you. I don't know.
Anyway, to the girl who has found you, my hat is off to her. she won you thrice, i could not even once. there must be something very special about her. I envy her. and i do get jealous of her. jealous of her luck, the love she has and i don't, the way she must be getting praised by you, looked by you, LOVED by you.
I hope this time she realizes how lucky she is to be experiencing one of the most amazing things in the world, SOMEONE'S LOVE. I’m sure she does.
and as for me,
I will continue on with my life, doing the things I love, that feel right, and hope for the best.
they say the best way to find love is by doing what you love, and I suppose I’m trying my best to do that right now.
so maybe.. maybe, one day everything will fall into place. and if not,
I’ll at least have the things I truly love to keep me occupied.
YOU ARE SPECIAL, this is the only thing i know.
But you didn't. You never even fathomed that you were in my mind, heart life,everywhere .
But most of all, i betrayed myself by dreaming. dreaming that you will come back and never ever go, your love will pamper me just like it is doing to her now.
All I want to know is, "why?" What does she have that I don't?
Why did she flood back into your life? Why did you cave into her little game? You should have said no.
You should have shoved her away. Told her to leave. SOMETHING! But instead, you caved. Gave in to her every whim. Her every desire.
You left me. you just threw me off your life. You straight up forgot that I even existed in your life.
Didn't she leave you twice? still she deserves a chance. what about my feelings? did it never deserve anything? ANYTHING but not your disrespect.
I know when you love a person, you love everything about them. you are doing the same, even i am doing the same. Then why do you have everything and i don't?
My dad says if you get something bad, think that it is the punishment of something wrong you must have done in your life. I don't think I have ever done this bad to anybody, then why me?
Don't I deserve something more than your silly filthy words?
Was it worth it? Was it worth this? Was it worth losing me? Losing everything you once held so closely to?
I feel really cheated, in fact, I was cheated. I never expected this. Especially from you. you should not have lied to me. you should not have kept me in dark.
You were the last person I ever expected to hurt me this badly. So badly, I didn't want to get up out of bed.
I just wanted to lie there all day. Forget the world. Forget you.
But, I knew I couldn't. I had to get up. Dress up.
Put on my face. Fake that smile. Get through my day. Without you... But, I don't think you would have made it any better.
You sure did enough. I just don't understand it. I don't understand you. All I know is now, I can't even look at you.
and now i should say no to you, to your memories, to these feelings i still have for you,
to everything which does nothing but makes me think of you.
You lost me. or I lost you. I don't know.
Anyway, to the girl who has found you, my hat is off to her. she won you thrice, i could not even once. there must be something very special about her. I envy her. and i do get jealous of her. jealous of her luck, the love she has and i don't, the way she must be getting praised by you, looked by you, LOVED by you.
I hope this time she realizes how lucky she is to be experiencing one of the most amazing things in the world, SOMEONE'S LOVE. I’m sure she does.
and as for me,
I will continue on with my life, doing the things I love, that feel right, and hope for the best.
they say the best way to find love is by doing what you love, and I suppose I’m trying my best to do that right now.
so maybe.. maybe, one day everything will fall into place. and if not,
I’ll at least have the things I truly love to keep me occupied.
YOU ARE SPECIAL, this is the only thing i know.
